Lotteries Not Involving Shirley Jackson

On Sunday, my father asked me to buy enough gas to fill several portable jugs. I make my way to a local gas station that happened to be up and running thoughout the local winter storm. I go inside to pay for everything, and get stuck behind a woman who is, shall we say, slow on the uptake. She takes her sweet time in paying for her drinks and snacks, then decides that a lottery ticket will put a bow on the package. The "scratch games" case at the Circle K has roughly two dozen games, all of which involve scratching off a latex cover to match various numbers, symbols, or other stuff.

(It's a scratch game. What were you expecting, a portable version of Pac-Man?)

So, we stand in line, waiting while this woman first asks how much each game costs. (Hint: the price of poker is printed on every ticket in bold numbers.) Then she wants to know how each game is played. (Hint number two: scratch cover. Look for matching symbols. Scream in joy or pout in unhappiness) Then she wants to know about the theming. (Hint number three: The theme is about as pertinent as the hotel part of Acquire or the Egyptian art on Ra.) So, I'm standing there, tapping my foot as this lady is testing everyone's patience. After all, I wasn't there just for grins. I had somewhere to be. It was all I could do to not enumerate the above points right to her uncomprehending glazed face.

I mention this story here and not on the regular blog because part of my political statement is that government should not impede on people's irrevocable right to be blithering idiots. All the same, I draw the line when you're ahead of me in line when I'm in a rush. The scratch games should just have the price, the latex cover, and in the "prize" field either a "You Get Nothing" message, or the prize. Dull, I know, but it would make things much easier. Frankly, I think the lottery is a hefty tax on both the poor and those who are bad at math, because if you can do simple odds calculation, you'll realize that you have much better ways to invest the money.